Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Holy shit dude........stairs
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
