Already got asked if we're dating
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
