I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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