How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
