she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
