the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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