I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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