You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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