Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
