is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
