sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
