Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize