Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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