her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
