her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
