I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
