You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
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