im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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