rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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