My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
