I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
