and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
