i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
