reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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