I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
