Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
