Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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