I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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