she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
