i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
