Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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