just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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