trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
