We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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