We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
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