the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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