So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
