did you get engaged???
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
