With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
