she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize