We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
