pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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