Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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