good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
