I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
