i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
