Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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