i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
