the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
