i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
