Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
