I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
