my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
