4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
