Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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