I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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