I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I wish you could order shots online.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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