Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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