I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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