You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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