Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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