It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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