My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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