She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize