my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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