forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
