this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
