We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
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