no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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