I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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