I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
