It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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