Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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