careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize