weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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